Why You’ve Never Aced Any Interview

Timi, a first class graduate of Banking and Finance found luck in his quest for employment when he got a call for an interview.
And this conversation ensued:
Company: Hello, Mr. Timi please?
Timi: Hello, who are you?
Company: I am calling from Bellsz Inc.
Timi: yes what’s the problem?
Company: please be informed that you have been shortlisted for an interview at our head office by 10am tomorrow…
Timi: (cuts in) yes! I made it!
Company: Hello Mr Timi…
Timi: Yes, thank you bye!

The following day, Timi went for the interview, missed his way and eventually got to the venue at 10:27am. He spotted on a black pair of shoes with a brown striped trouser and a brown belt to match; a striped orange-coloured shirt on top, a brown-strapped wrist-watch and oh! I almost forgot,Timi couldn’t shave because he had no plans to go out the previous day save the call he received late; by which time the barber shop had closed.

“Timi Audu”, the receptionist beckoned on him and directed him through a door into the room where the interviewers sat at a table with an empty chair opposite them. Timi went in,exchanged pleasantries and took his seat. After making himself comfortable, a series of questions followed, to which he gave vapid responses. Timi avoided any eye contact – showing he lacked confidence. And when one of the interviewers asked what the time was by his watch, alas! he had put on a dead watch.
Timi was also asked (with his permission of course) to bring out his wallet, the interviewers went through it and returned it to him.

As the interview drew to a close, they passed on a document to Timi and asked him to append his signature; Timi did without a second thought. Finally, the interviewers asked for his e-mail address to ensure he gets feedback from them and Timi dropped the bomb: dontimosky4life@yahoo.com

Bellsz Inc. later contacted Timi via e-mail as promised. The mail read thus:

Dear Timi,
We are sorry you do not fit into our organizational se at the moment. Indeed you have a good certificate; however, you were impolite when you first received our call inviting you for the interview, you ended the call without asking for the address or any other detail as regards the interview.

On the day of the interview, we expected you to be seated at least 15-30 minutes before the scheduled time but you came in 27 minutes after. You were rather unprofessionally dressed with your belt and shoe having unmatched colours and patterns.All these gave the impression we would make a bad hiring choice if we selected you as the qualified candidate for the open role. Our organisation can’t afford having its corporate image smeared by a careless representative and your performance in the interview showed that you would project our brand in bad light to our clients and the public.

Quick advice: offering yourself a seat during an interview shows you lack manners and etiquette; this you confidently displayed while we were still forming a first impression of you in our minds.
Your answers to most of the questions asked during the interview were ambiguous and curt, this showed you lacked listening and communication skills and perhaps your preparation for the interview was very poor.

Bellsz inc. is a proud brand that stays true to its promises and we look out for candidates who’d successfully relay our core message to our clients and customers; either through their roles, words or body language but your obvious lack of eye-contact showed you have a low self-esteem, making us question your ability to represent our brand in the best way possible. Although, we won’t fail to commend you for acquiring a good degree, your lack of business-sense and professionalism (unkempt hair, lateness to the interview, disorganised wallet, cutesy email address) proved you  unfit for a financial role that you interviewed for.

And lastly, the document you signed tells us you can sell off our company without knowing it. As opposed to what was hinted in your CV, you lack attention to detail because you didn’t read the document but you signed immediately.

Please note that the education of life goes beyond your certificate. We regret to inform you that your job search with us ends here.

we hope this feedback helps you in your next interview.

Yours faithfully,
Olufemi Bellos
for: Bellsz Inc.
 SILLY, BUT DRAWN FROM EXPERIENCES OF INTERVIEWERS AND INTERVIEWEES ALIKE!!!

(image from kelleyundergrad.blogspot.com)

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