No Longer a Child...

Since the year began, I'd been thinking up what to write as my first post for the year! I definitely didn't want to feed you with all that "new year resolution" stuff that you probably are tired of hearing or reading about.

As I sat in the barber shop this evening, I noticed something on my head, two strands of grey hair! Not like there's any big deal as some people have it from a tender age however, I never had it from a tender age and I barely noticed since my hair was always cut down low, 2face style!

Well for a second or so, reality hit me hard like the chilly harmattan breeze that hits you in the face early in the morning in northern Nigeria - I wasn't getting younger! Gone were the days when I could call an uncle or aunt or my parents when I was broke and request for some money, now my younger siblings and cousins expect me to 'drop something'. Now I earn a salary, for the last few years of course and responsibilities stare me daily in the face.

Anyway, the lesson from my encounter this evening was nothing of the above sort rather, I realized I now had shorter time than before to achieve my goals. It dawned on me in the words of Korede Bello that, "I am no longer a child, bear bear don show, junior don grow...". So if you're still doing somethings that are childish, or still 'playing around' thinking you've got time, still being unserious with your career, passion, relationships, spirituality and life in general then, my dear friend, you should stand in front of a mirror and listen to the legendary Michael Jackson's man in the mirror.

Dude! you are no longer a child!

The Woman Between Chaz B and Myles Munroe!

"...Your Life SIR, is a Lesson to all of us and I am Honoured, Privileged, Blessed & Abundantly Favoured to have been called your Friend! I will forever treasure your words in my ears and I shall never forget you till the Day I Die." - Excerpts of Chaz B's tribute to Dr Munroe

After the passing to glory in November 2014 of Dr. Myles Munroe, a renowned writer, teacher and speaker and the same of Chaz B, a renowned On Air Personality with listener-ship across the largest black nation on earth Nigeria, revelations have emerged that there was a woman between them, a woman with whom they 'shared a lot’.

Sources say the identity of the said woman is obviously obscure and is known only to insiders. This revelation is sure to shock many, especially the world of Christianity world over as this may be considered one of the worst kept secrets of this century; intriguing not because of what they “had” together rather, because of her identity.

Investigations reveal this woman was not even from Nigeria or the Bahamas rather of Jewish descent leading many to wonder how she ended up being in the middle of a relationship between Dr. Myles a Bahamian and Chaz B a Nigerian. Further findings from the 36th of the ninth chapter of the Acts, a secretly public record, show this woman was “full of good works” hence the relationship between these three. Synonymous to them was that after their demise, testimonies of their good works resounded from one end of the earth to the other and would continue to serve as lessons for generations unborn and the impact they had in the lives of several hundreds, thousands and millions of people world over.

This woman’s name was Dorcas, native name Tabitha and she got into Biblical history not because of her beauty, intellect, opulence or diction rather, because of her influence which culminated from her good deeds.

If you were to die today would anyone notice? What would the history books and even, the Internet have to say about you – if anything at all?


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A Walk In The Rain

It had been drizzling all morning and being a Saturday, one thing was sure with the perfect weather condition, sleep!

Lazily I got up and did a few things part of which was to go online and ‘see the world’ there. I also did a little cleaning and was about taking my bath when I figured it best to visit the salon first before having that 30-minute Saturday morning bath (you know it guys). So clutching my grooming kit, I stepped out of the house and my little nephew said he’d come along, he was tired of the ‘koko waves’ on his head, or so was his mother.

The drizzling had stopped so we walked hand-in-hand to the salon; of course the road was messy with the rains and all. As we walked, I noticed how my hand was fully wrapped round his and it struck me, how big is our God? How mighty are his hands that he is able to hold us, our dreams, ambitions and problems, no matter how big they are and lead us through the journey of life?

As we walked on with my hands held on to his, I would guide him as to where to step and where not to considering the road was a mess with potholes, mud and dirt everywhere. Having our hands in God’s is a surety for direction and guidance in life. He knows the path very well and he’s our best bet to getting through life and its situations unscathed. Yes sometimes a little mud spilled onto my slippers but then I remembered His word ‘…when you pass through the fire, it will not burn you, when you pass through the waters they shall not consume you’. The heat might cause you discomfort but it will NEVER burn you. Deep!

Even as we moved closer to the salon, he then pulled his hand away as if to say ‘I can now do this on my own’ then it hit me – sometimes after a walk with God, pride sets in and says ‘you can do this on your own’ and we more often than not, tend to fall for this trick of the enemy. God wants to walk with you ALL THE WAY not some of it, or most of it. There is that tendency to always want to do it ‘my own way’ but then experience has taught me that He wants me to trust in Him with ALL MY HEART, ALL THE WAY!

Writing this I realized, how easy my life would be if I decided to take a walk in the rain with this God and cast all my cares upon Him because he cares for me. Life would be so much easier!!! All He is asking is; would you put your hands in mine and let’s take a walk, through the muddy roads of life? 

Let’s take a walk in the rain.

follow me on twitter @FemiBellos and on bbm 2AE5A00E

BrideGroom indeed?!

On the wedding day or shortly before the wedding, the man is called the bridegroom and this is not without its reasons.

Take that word apart and it becomes pretty obvious; he's meant to be the bride-GROOM. That's not just a...ceremonial designation no, it's actually a job description. The job of the man is to 'groom' his woman. It subtly connotes an agriculture-inclined activity: to tend, to care for, to help improve, to supply essentials for growth and to bring out the best. The husband is not meant to bear the title 'bridegroom' just the wedding day (and night) alone rather, that is what/who he should be for the rest of his life! He should never stop tending, developing, nurturing and inspiring his bride to the fullness of her potentials.

So young Man, before you start 'delivering your manifesto', take a good look at your toolbox and ask yourself 'is my 'grooming kit' complete?"
"What exactly do I have to offer beyond material things?"
"Am I prepared to 'groom' this 'vine' or am I just craving its fruits?"

And my dear young lady, before you get carried away with whatever you're seeing or receiving, ask yourself: "does he have what it takes to help me become a BETTER PERSON?".
(Note the question: it's not just if he can give you better THINGS but if he can help you be a better PERSON).

What is his effect on your PERSON thus far? Are you becoming a better woman because of your association with him? Is there more clarity in your life? More discipline? More kindness? A better walk with God?

I once had a friend who during her birthday party, talked about how others had impacted her life and when she got to me, she couldn't place what impact I'd had on her. Silly as it may sound, it only left me with two options: I either cut off that friendship or start working towards being a positive influence on her.

Whatever the case, whether in a romantic relationship, a close or casual friendship, evaluate the influence ratio today and act in a fast but wise manner!!!

Follow me on twitter @FemiBellos and add me on BBM 2AE5A00E

PORT FROM THAT RELATIONSHIP!!!

You must have seen or heard of the new MTN Port advert and you also recall that the character “Saka” was a prominent face in Etisalat adverts before now? With a focus on relationships, I will be sharing with you some lessons from this Brand War or Brand Scandal and how they apply to today’s relationships.

Saka’s decision to port to MTN after a reported 20million naira deal reminds me of the story of a friend who had been dating a guy for 7 years and the guy kept avoiding the issue of marriage though he is well established. This is a clear example of what exists between single men and single ladies who date each other for years but the guy refuses to talk about, talk more of sealing the relationship with a marriage contract. ‘Saka’ had a relationship with Etisalat for years,  building and maintaining Etisalat’s brand values yet, not having any legal contract to assure him of his future. Today they have, and are still paying heavily for it. How does this concern you? Have you as a man/woman been dating someone for years with no future in sight? Does he/she change the topic when you discuss formalities of your relationship? Does your relationship have a goal in sight? If NO, then my dear friend, kindly PORT TO THE BETTER NETWORK! *Winks*.

My sincere advice to our single ladies is, don't be foolish. Look for a man that values you enough to keep you for life. Was Saka valued? If yes, did Etisalat take steps to protect that value? NO. Stay away from that guy that doesn’t talk of your future together. Even if he does and is not taking practicable and rational steps, stay away from him or advise him on what to do so as not to lose you! Though arguable, I believe marriage has nothing to do with being wealthy. Pastor Nike Adeyemi once shared how they got married in a one room apartment and it ‘made sense’. Remember anyone who is not willing to sign that marriage contract doesn't know talk more of valuing your worth. The same way Etisalat despised Saka despite the mileage his adverts had generated for them, is the same way your partner would despise you if you have had two children for him, stay in his house yet, he is yet to pay your bride price!

So before you get into such situation, my dear reader, kindly PORT TO A BETTER NETWORK!

Finally, once you see a guy that signs that deal, I beg you in the name of God, give it your best! From the advert, you can see how ‘Saka’ danced a 20million naira dance once he ported. He never danced in such a way for Etisalat (only screaming a hungry man’s scream of ‘awoof’!). Once that guy/lady puts pen to paper, give him/her the best of you because he/she deserves it.

PLS NOTE: To all my readers, better value me now before I port o! Are you satisfied with your partner or do you intend to port like saka? 

Originally by @stephenakintayo. Re-written by @FemiBellos.